Theology

2008-03-04 14:53

Disclaimer: Before I get started on this, I’d like to point out my beliefs are just that: my own, personal beliefs, influenced by societal and peer pressures alike, sharpened by logic and observation and advice. Also, welcome to my frakkin blog. I am a freelance Christian. There’s not really a definition or a meaning behind it, which is why I call myself that. Christian implies I believe in God and in the words and deeds of this dude named Jesus. And essentially, that’s what I do. Freelance = no affiliations. I love all of the people I’ve met through various networks, but I can’t dedicate my time to schedules. There are people everywhere that want help, and I’ll do my part to reciprocate what you’ve done for me, IV, and that’s to provide some good old TLC.

Let’s get on with the show.

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A thought struck me as I was driving back, after some standard bit of kindness of opening the door for 2 other ladies while I was at the bank. One said “so much kindness on a beautiful day!” And it hit me, I’m missing the point.

If there was such a problem to merit the despair I’ve been feeling, it’s not that I’ve got bad chemicals, or that I’m the problem, the instigator. The real problem is that everyone else will never see what I’m capable of, my God-given gifts and talents, the light inside me for which I was named¹.

God, or whoeever it is (if it cared for a name or title I’m sure there would be only one, and not the multitude available today), helped to shape me, to program me as perfectly as a human can be constructed, while adding the spices of flaws and quirks that make anyone that much more endearing. I’m amazing, we all are.

God, to me, is not an overlord, or a father, or this all seeing, all knowing, all mighty being we have to fear. God is empowerment, God is clarity, God is the voice inside that says “Wake up, you’ve got the world in front of you, go and reach it!” (though oddly enough I’ve only had 6 hours of sleep for these past 3 days).

Heaven and hell. Do I believe in the afterlife? Well, I can’t deny how ridiculously appealing it is. But in my head, heaven and hell are just as momentary as anything else. I imagine a Heaven where God says “Congratulations, you’ve finished well. Good job. Would you like to try again?” The overwhelming response would be “OH GOD YES.”

Life is beautiful to those that treat it right.

In Hell, God might say “You screwed up. Would you like to try again?” to which I believe the response would be “OH GOD YES.” If someone were to answer no, I’m sure people get what they want in the end anyway, whether it be nirvana or non-existence.

I am probably creating this hybrid/mutant/chimaera theology, but I think that’s what faith is, to incorporate everything you’ve learned and been exposed to, into one massive personal scripture to remind yourself that you’re only going to get better if you try.

¹ The Burmese name my parents gave me translates roughly to “Abundance of Brilliant/Beautiful Light.” Tres awesome.

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